The boat was called in from off shore. Extra security measures. We weren't supposed to know and we weren't supposed to ask to know. Somebody's been sniffing cocaine with rolled up two dollar bills. I told the chief that I thought maybe that was some kind of message. Two dollar bills are out of circulation, I said. But I must have missed something somewhere along the line, because the chief told me that they're back. Back in style is what he said. There was something strange in the way he said that, Back in style. It stuck with me. I thought it might be some kind of message.

I asked McMurray about it and McMurray says, Get this, a woman was crossing the street this morning, Franklin and 29th, and she trips over a cow laying in the middle of the road.

I said, A cow? Huh, that's strange. From old Gretchen's place, ya think?

McMurray says, Wait it gets better, so she trips over this cow and lands face first in a pile of goose vomit. The vomit splatters up and into the grill of a passing car. Now this car's alarm starts going off while the guy is driving the damn thing. He pulls it over right in front of the bagel shop on 28th where I have my morning coffee. He shuts the alarm off and decides to come inside the bagel shop to use the bathroom. While he's in there, the alarm starts going off again, right as some lady rounds the corner with her two Dobermans on a leash. Now these Dobermans start barking. They're barking their heads off and I look out the window just in time to see old Mr. Chamberlain crossing the street in his motorized cart. One of the dogs sees him and dashes off towards him. So of course the other dog is right behind him and this poor lady can't hold on to the leash. Chamberlain tries to turn his cart quickly and the whole thing topples over. Now he's lying under it halfway to the middle of the road and the traffic light turns yellow. I look up and see this big old Semi driver talking on his cell phone, he can't see what's going on. So I throw down my coffee and I run out there just as the truck is starting to cross the intersection. I get to Mr. Chamberlain and I know I've got to get him off the road quickly so I grab his leg and tug on it as hard as I can... kinda like I'm pulling yours right now.

McMurray's practically rolling around on the floor laughing and I say, Yeah, sure, laugh it up McMurray, it's not like we have any murders to solve or anything. .............