I only eat the cutest animals. I never touch
a chicken or a hog or a cow. Dirty creatures,
chickens that'll eat their own shit, hogs that'll wallow in it,
genetically engineered cow machines that eat
hyper-engineered wheat product. Give me
a lamb or some precious doe, looking for its Momma. Give me
duck, sliced thin and cooked medium rare, juicy purple-red in the center.

I would eat guinea pig if it was slow roasted.
I could cram a cherry tomato in its mouth.

Do not tell me seafood isn't cute.
Salmon and tuna and crab, all very cute
and happy to be eaten. I've seen Spongebob
and I know how cute starfish and plankton and squid can be.